A recent situation reminded me that it is so easy to offend people by doing the right thing at the wrong time or in an insensitive way.

In this situation, the person involved genuinely wanted to see forgiveness and reconciliation in a very unpleasant and difficult situation. His theology was great, he recognised that forgiveness is a core value and function of the Church and Christians. However, if he had proceeded to try and be a “bridge” at that time, not only do I doubt that the offending party would have even heard what was being said, but the offended people would have been even more offended—they had been very hurt and were still hurting terribly.

In this situation, good theology, if acted upon, was damaging, because it wasn’t coupled with sensitivity toward the emotional states of those involved. In this case it would have been bad theology, probably moving the parties even further apart and probably destroying any future role as reconciler for the well-meaning individual. Thankfully, others, who were more sensitive to what people were going through and how they’d respond, suggested that it wasn’t going to help and nothing was done.

This is a classic example of Aristote’s challenge:

Anybody can become angry, that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way, that is not within everybody’s power, that is not easy.

In this circumstance, you could paraphrase it to:

Anybody can quote good theology; but to apply it in the right way, to the right people at the right time, so that God’s purposes are achieved, that is not easy, that requires wisdom.